Hugh's Hotel Life Stories

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 40

The Hotel is quiet at the moment (it would be, as we are actually closed for Christmas and New Year!).  My mother-in-law had a chest infection just before Christmas (she is 93 and still living on her own) and she has ended up in hospital over Christmas.  We have been visiting her, and the last time I went in and walked down the corridor to the ward I had forgotten to use the disinfectant spray on the wall by the entrance.  One of the doctors in a white coat swept past me, and as he approached the ward he called out "Hygeine!".  Which reminded me that I hadn't "done me hands".  So I went back to the entrance to do my duty.

Then as I came back into the ward I noticed that the doctor was talking to this nurse called Jean .... !!

I tapped the doctor on the shoulder and asked if he had realised what he had just said.  They both had a laugh about it!


Have just had a note from Peter Anderson re: the above, who says ...

With regard to the doctor calling out for Jean, aren't you glad it wasn't Jack he wanted!!!!

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

This next one goes back to the days just after the 'no smoking in public areas' law came into force.

Hotel Life 41

We have a couple with a dog (we do take well behaved dogs .. or should I say owners?) who were asking where they could go with their dog and have a meal.  Now we have a few pubs who are always happy for you to take your dog, but this has become much easier now, as I'll explain.

Some pubs had an "eating area" which was "no smoking", and a bar area where one could smoke .. and they would do food in that area too.  But then you had to eat your meal with everyone round you smoking!  And it was always these areas where they let you take your dog.  But now, with the new "No Smoking" laws, these eating areas have become "smoke free" .. so no problem enjoying your meal in a smoke free atmosphere.

"Much healthier," my guest commented.  "And I've noticed dogs are getting much healthier too!"

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 42

It's Mr. Hacker again.  The greengrocer.  The one who "tared" my box when I went for the Seville oranges.

We were doing our "home made marmalade" again, and when I went into the shop this time the lady at the till (she recognised me immediately, and as it was "that time of year" knew I would be doing marmalade) was very helpful.  Quite happy to weigh my oranges in "pounds" .. and knew immediately how many oranges I would need to the pound.  She didn't "tare" the box this time, but weighed it, and said she would take that amount of money off at the end.

As the box was heavy, I had to go and get the car, so asked her to keep the box by her.  When I got back she had wrapped the box up so the oranges wouldn't float about in the car.

Bronwyn made the first batch of marmalade, and needed more oranges, so when I went down I took two jars, one for Mr Hacker and one for the lady behind the till who had been so helpful.  So I gave Mr Hacker his jar.  "I thought you'd be back with a pot," he said.  "You always do.  My wife loves your marmalade."

And I gave him the second jar for the lady behind the till.  "Oh, thank you very much," he said.  "She'll appreciate that" ... and then added "That was my wife!".

So this year he has ended up with two jars of marmalade.

Oh well!

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 43

Not Hotel this time .. grandchildren again.

We were in the park this afternoon, in the children's play area.  The two girls (aged 5yr and 7yr) were OK, running about, but I was frozen having come out in a short sleeved shirt and no jumper.  It was so cold!

Then they decided they wanted an ice cream, so I took them over to the cafe to get one.  I stayed outside with the dog while Kate went in to get the ice creams.  After a while, Kate appeared with two ice creams and said she couldn't fish out the one that Abbie wanted as it was too far down.  And she was still holding the £5 note I had given her, and was now outside the cafe with the two ice creams .. so hadn't paid for either of them.  No matter!  No one had noticed, so I went in and fished out the other ice cream and got her to pay for all three.

There we were, outside, shivering and eating ice cream.  So I commented that it didn't exactly help us to keep warm when we were eating ice cream, and flippantly remarked, "We should be eating sun cream, not ice cream".

Perhaps I shouldn't have said that as I noticed that Kate had a bottle of sun cream with her .. just in case it was needed.  Luckily, she is fairly sensible and commented that you shouldn't eat sun cream .. just put it on your body.  So I was well and truly put in my place.

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

Before I had my Tyros 4 keyboard I had a Yamaha AR80 organ, and we had a Forum specifically for those with an AR80 or AR100 organ. The person who hosted the Forum (John Bridgett) got us to contribute some of our music for a CD to raise money for Charity.

Hotel Life 44

At breakfast I often play one of my "AR Group" CDs.  On this particular morning we had a family in for breakfast and I told them that the music they were listening to was one of our members playing. 

At which point the father piped up, "Oh!  Really?  And I thought it was proper music you were playing!"

Well, thanks a bundle.

He did say later that the word he had meant to use was "professional".

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 45

And another 'organ' comment.  We have had a wedding party in, so I have done my best to make sure they have everything they need.  And I mentioned at breakfast that some of the music they were listening to was me playing the AR organ.

When they left one of them said, "We shall definitely be recommending you to our friends .. you have pulled out all the stops  for us! "

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 46

Grandchildren again.  Kate and Abbie, now aged 7yr and 5yr.

This story is one up on 'The Grand Old Duke Of York' mentioned earlier.

Kate says to me, "Grandad, say 'sausages' after everything I say"

"OK," I say, wondering what is coming next.

"What do you have with eggs and bacon?"

Second question:

"What goes well with egg, beans and chips?"

Third question:

"What do you see when you look in the toilet?"

!!!!

Followed by fits of giggles!

Grandchildren !!!

[♔Chello]

Children can say it..!

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 47

Kevin, a friend, has been helping me clear the old bits of carpet out from the loft, and then take them to the tip.  When we got back it was lunch time, so Kevin went off to the hotel kitchen to make himself a cup of tea.  I said I was going to have a roll with Bronwyn, at which point he said that was probably more information than he needed to know!

[⚖Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 48

Another 'more information than I needed to know'.

We get email enquiries asking about our accommodation and prices etc. and I reply to them saying which rooms we have available, and prices etc.  They then make a decision as to whether they wish to book or not, and either ring us or send us another email.  The email I had below is the best excuse I have ever had for somebody not wanting to stay in our hotel.

Thank you for your reply, I am coming down to visit my son whose marriage has just broken up after only 9 mths due to her infidelity and I now find that you are only round the corner from her so I need to look further afield as neither I nor my son want to bump into her.