Hugh's Hotel Life Stories

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

No idea! I didn't try them! Children can be really amusing, and you never know what they're going to come out with next!

Another granddaughter, Abbie, visiting us a few days before she was going to be 4 years old.

We had a builder working in the hotel, and he asked her ...

 "Abbie. When are you going to be 4?".

Well, she thought about it for a bit, and then said ...

... wait for it! ...

"On my birthday!"

Priceless!

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

The BBC have four basic Radio programs .. Radios 1, 2, 3 and 4. Radio 1 is the 'Pop' one and Radio 2 plays more 'middle of the road' music. Their main presenter at the time of this story was Terry Wogan.

Hotel Life 15
 
This morning we were listening to Radio 2. It was Terry Wogan, and I suddenly realised that he was talking about our home town of Weston-super-Mare.
 
They do say, don't they, that any publicity is good publicity?
 
"You must have heard of Weston-super-Mare?" he was saying. "A quiet, pretty little town by the sea. And as I was walking down the Prom, by the Grand Pier, I was aware of a husband and wife not exactly seeing eye to eye. Voices were being raised and a full bodied argument ensued. I was concerned, and even more so when the husband produced what can only be described as a baseball bat and proceeded to hit the wife about the head.   'Surely, somebody must call the Police! This cannot be allowed to go on!'
 
And sure enough, after a few minutes a policeman duly arrived. At last, something would be done.
 
But no! The husband began attacking the policeman with his baseball bat, and in no time at all had knocked him to the ground! Myself, and the people around me were now really concerned. Could nothing be done?
 
The situation was getting from bad to worse. What was to come?
 
.............
 
............
 
And then the crocodile appeared!"
 
That’s the way to do it!  That’s the way to do it!

(For those of you not familiar with the British way of life, the situation above took place at least a couple of times a week right through the summer holidays.)



Comments from under the video:

"Punch and Judy's unique sound comes from the swazzle, a device used to change the voice to make it more raspy.

This is terrifying!

Didn’t do these kids any harm presumably, given the mortified reactions of the audience.

Terrible violence!

Horrible watching these frightened and nearly terrified children. We now know where violence begins. TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR shown to very young, impressionable children! Should've been banned!

And this was considered entertainment ?!"

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 16
 
Earlier this year we had a few days when it just poured with rain all day! We had a family staying with two small children, and when they returned at the end of the day one of the children rang the doorbell. This is the usual game. The parents have keys to let themselves in, but their children are always just too quick for them! Anyway, when I came to answer the door they were standing there in the hall. Both children looked just like Paddington Bear, with brightly coloured red wellies and a bright yellow waterproof hat ... and the water was just pouring off them. They were drenched to the skin!
 
To make polite conversation, I remarked, "Oh dear! I hope you've been able to keep dry for some of the time!"
 
To which the lady replied, "Actually, Mr Wallington, we've been in a boat".
 
"Oh good!", I said. "That sounds like fun! Did you enjoy it?"
 
At this point she gave me a funny look, and went on upstairs.
 
When I met her later, I got chatting to her (I must admit I do find some of these Northern accents very difficult to understand) and she mentioned my greeting when they had arrived back at the Hotel.

"Do you remember when you asked me if we had been able to keep dry for some of the time? Well, we hadn't ... and what I had said to you was 'Actually, Mr Wallington, we're absolutely soaked' "
 
So, nothing to do with a boat!

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 17
 
One of our choices at Breakfast is poached egg on toast. Now I normally do the cooking when there is an "early" breakfast to do. And poached eggs in not one of my strong points, as we do them in the traditional way ... drop the egg into boiling water with a dash of white vinegar. So I was very pleased when watching a cooking program featuring Rick Stein (for those of you not familiar with the great variety of "chef" programs we get on the telly, he is the "fish" man and has a very "up market" Fish Restaurant in Padstow in Cornwall) he dealt with this business of doing poached eggs.
 
"Stir the water round vigorously with a spoon, making a sort of whirlpool in the middle", he said. "Then drop the egg into the middle of it and the "white" of the egg will curl all round the yolk and make a nice round, solid poached egg".
 
So that is how I do it, and it works a treat! But, what do you do with a second egg? ... !!
 

[✪aprilla]

Hotel Life 17
 
One of our choices at Breakfast is poached egg on toast. Now I normally do the cooking when there is an "early" breakfast to do. And poached eggs in not one of my strong points, as we do them in the traditional way ... drop the egg into boiling water with a dash of white vinegar. So I was very pleased when watching a cooking program featuring Rick Stein (for those of you not familiar with the great variety of "chef" programs we get on the telly, he is the "fish" man and has a very "up market" Fish Restaurant in Padstow in Cornwall) he dealt with this business of doing poached eggs.
 
"Stir the water round vigorously with a spoon, making a sort of whirlpool in the middle", he said. "Then drop the egg into the middle of it and the "white" of the egg will curl all round the yolk and make a nice round, solid poached egg".
 
So that is how I do it, and it works a treat! But, what do you do with a second egg? ... !!
 

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 18
 
Two girls called at our door a couple of Sundays ago. I think they must have been about 12 years old, a year older than granddaughter Amy. I wondered whether they should have been out on their own like that, but I think it's a shame if children can't do the things we used to do when we were young. Certainly with Amy and Jessica, we as Grandparents are "overprotective" and find it difficult to let go. Anyway, the two girls wanted us to sponsor them for a "mile walk" they were going to do in aid of the PDSA (Peoples Dispensary For Sick Animals). They had the official forms with PDSA at the top and the telephone number, and several people had already sponsored them. So we gave them £5 between the two of them and wished them good luck in their search for more sponsors.
 
I'm sure we all get phone calls either about changing electricity/gas supplier, or double glazing, but the other day I had a call from a company selling light bulbs. Now I am quite interested in this as we get through quite a few light bulbs, and where I can I use the new "low energy" bulbs. I cannot find anything suitable though for our SBC bulbs (Small Bayonet Cap) we use in the hanging lights in the hallways. There must be eight on each light. So when I was told that there were bulbs that would last longer and save energy (although not the "low energy" bulb I had in mind), I was naturally very keen to know more about them. So when the rep. asked "Would you like me to send you a sample? There are about eight different ones.", I said "Yes, that would be good." And he took my name and address and promised they would be with me in a couple of days. Then a thought struck me. "They are free samples, aren't they?" I asked. "Oh no," he replied. "I will be sending an invoice with your order. The cost is £56 + VAT".
 
Well! No thank you then!
 
The following day I rang the PDSA. I had written down the number from the top of the form. After a while the phone was answered. It was the Weston-super-Mare Sorting Office (the Post Office). He suggested I contacted the police.
 
I think I was had.

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 19
 
When Amy and Jessica are here they like sometimes to go into the Dining Room and take the guests their cereals or toast, clear the plates etc. So one morning I called through the hatch, "I hope they are looking after you all right. I'm training them up for when I am too old".
 
The reply I got ... "Too late. You're already too old!" 
I suppose I asked for that!
 
We have a midwife staying at the moment, and a couple with a new baby just four months old. "Aren't they lovely at that age", said the midwife. "Bald heads and no teeth!"
 
I couldn't resist asking if she was talking about me!

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

Hotel Life 20
 
A story about another family.
 
We bought some special table mats for children. They are made from "foam" plastic, are bright green and are in the shape of a frog. A bit of fun really ... and hopefully will help save the table cloth!
 
One breakfast I was bringing the plates of eggs and bacon across to one of the tables (for those of you who don't live in the UK, our mouth-watering "English Breakfast" consists of Egg (fried, poached or scrambled), Bacon, Sausages, Baked Beans and Fried Bread) when it occurred to me that the plates were somewhat hot ... and there was a little boy about 4 years old with one of the families. So as I put the plate down in front of him (placing the plate firmly and squarely on top of "Froggie") I said "Now be careful not to touch the plate. It is very hot!"
 
The response from the little boy was "Oh no! Don't put the plate on top of Froggie ... it will hurt him!"
 
Well ... what was I to do now? Remove the plates and cutlery ... and froggy ... from the table?
 
But his Dad was very quick thinking and immediately came up with "Hurt froggie? No! It's froggie's job to look after hot plates".
 
So that was OK then!

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

We have an intercom system between the porch of the hotel and our bungalow. Obviously people stay out until all hours, and as I am the unofficial 'Night Porter' I like our guests to be able to contact us if they have a problem.

Hotel Life 21
 
We were woken up at 3am. The Intercom was sounding in the bungalow, so I dragged myself out of bed, thinking "Could do without this!", and went to answer it.
 
"This is John", a voice said. "I can't get the key to work in the front door".
 
Now I know these locks are not always that easy to open, and sometimes they will only open the door when the key is turned in one direction but not in the other. But I thought that probably this time it would be a case of not being able to see the keyhole in the first place, as the voice was somewhat slurred.
 
"Which Room are you in?" I asked.
 
"Room 1" was the reply.
 
So I put my dressing gown on, went over to the Hotel, made my way to the front door and opened it.
 
Well, I looked at him, and he looked at me .... and then he said …
 
"Ooops! Wrong house!"
 
!!!!

[⚅Hugh Wallington]

When you read the below you will understand why now in the UK all plugs on new electrical appliances are 'moulded' ie. you can get at the fuse to change it, but can't unscrew anything to get at the contacts within the plug.

Hotel Life 22
 
This story is on a more serious note.
 
We had some golfers booked in. All respectable people as golfers always are. But this lot seemed to think it fun to cover doorhandles of rooms with tooth paste ... and even to smear toothpaste over pillow cases. Fun and games for when their friends came in late at night. We were glad to see them go!
 
And then, later, I realised that one of the fans in one of the bedrooms was no longer working. So thinking the fuse had probably gone I got my Avo Meter to check it. But no, the fuse was fine. So I thought I had better check the continuity from the plug to the fan, as I had come to the conclusion that one of the wires must have broken within the sleeving. I checked from the Neutral to the Neutral. That was fine. Then the Live to the Live. Nothing. And then Earth to Earth. Nothing. And then it slowly dawned on me. There was no break in the wires. Someone (from the golfing party) had swopped over the Live and Earth wires in the 13amp plug. Which meant that the metal base plate of the fan was "live" as it was connected directly to the mains supply. Could have been very nasty for anybody touching it. No doubt whoever did it must have thought it would be even more "fun" to make one of his friends "jump".
 
The moral of this story?
 
Never trust a golfer!

Stories continued on Page 4 ...